If You Don’t Set Boundaries, a Symptom Flare-Up Might Step In and Do It For You

As a child, you may have been taught to always say “yes” to authority figures — even when your inner self wanted to say “no.”⁠ ⁠

At work, you may have been taught to always say “yes” to your boss — even when your inner self wants to say “no.”⁠ ⁠

In relationships, you may have been taught to always say “yes” to your partner — even when your inner self wants to say “no.”⁠ ⁠ We all need social connection.

And if we’re only rewarded by others for saying “yes” and disapproved of for saying “no,” we may become habituated to ignoring our inner voice.⁠

The body doesn’t like that. The body may feel betrayed when you ignore your inner voice. The body may do things to defend your inner voice:⁠ ⁠

🔸 Like getting a migraine so you don’t have to attend that event you said “yes” to but really wanted to say “no” to.⁠

🔸Or getting back pain so that you don’t have to sit at that desk job you took because you thought you “should” even though you really wanted to follow your passion.⁠

🔸Or getting a stomach ache so that you don’t have to spend time with that person who disrespects your boundaries.⁠ ⁠

If we are conditioned to always say “yes,” we may find ourselves in conflict with our body when it says “no.”⁠ ⁠

🌸 BUT just like with couples therapy, conflict resolution is possible between mind and body. ✨⁠ ⁠

The first step to conflict resolution is: Each party needs to have their side of the story heard and acknowledged.⁠

👉 Here’s something you can try:⁠

Ask your mind, with pen and paper 📝:

Dear part that always says “yes,” what are you feeling? What would you like me to know? What are you trying to protect me from?⁠ ⁠

And see what flows out onto the page 📄.⁠ ⁠

Then, ask your body 📝:⁠

Dear part that says “no,” what are you feeling? What would you like me to know? What are you trying to protect me from?⁠

You may find that the mind and body have similar goals — just different ideas about how to get there.⁠

If you need support with chronic pain and anxiety, take my FREE QUIZ called “Why the *bleep* am I still in pain?!” so I can help you get some clarity.