As a child, you may have been taught to always say “yes” to authority figures — even when your inner self wanted to say “no.”
At work, you may have been taught to always say “yes” to your boss — even when your inner self wants to say “no.”
In relationships, you may have been taught to always say “yes” to your partner — even when your inner self wants to say “no.” We all need social connection.
And if we’re only rewarded by others for saying “yes” and disapproved of for saying “no,” we may become habituated to ignoring our inner voice.
The body doesn’t like that. The body may feel betrayed when you ignore your inner voice. The body may do things to defend your inner voice:
🔸 Like getting a migraine so you don’t have to attend that event you said “yes” to but really wanted to say “no” to.
🔸Or getting back pain so that you don’t have to sit at that desk job you took because you thought you “should” even though you really wanted to follow your passion.
🔸Or getting a stomach ache so that you don’t have to spend time with that person who disrespects your boundaries.
If we are conditioned to always say “yes,” we may find ourselves in conflict with our body when it says “no.”
🌸 BUT just like with couples therapy, conflict resolution is possible between mind and body. ✨
The first step to conflict resolution is: Each party needs to have their side of the story heard and acknowledged.
👉 Here’s something you can try:
Ask your mind, with pen and paper 📝:
Dear part that always says “yes,” what are you feeling? What would you like me to know? What are you trying to protect me from?
And see what flows out onto the page 📄.
Then, ask your body 📝:
Dear part that says “no,” what are you feeling? What would you like me to know? What are you trying to protect me from?
You may find that the mind and body have similar goals — just different ideas about how to get there.
If you need support with chronic pain and anxiety, take my FREE QUIZ called “Why the *bleep* am I still in pain?!” so I can help you get some clarity.